Competition
by Ria Unbelievable
Summary: This is my first Cats humor fic. Um... Macavity wants to take over the junkyard, a new cat comes in, things happy. Rating is for a bit of language. I think it's funny. R/R please


Competition  
  
Riana Marie MoonDancer  
  
Macavity was plotting. And it's never a good thing when Macavity's plotting. "I need some way to take over the junkyard..." he muttered to himself, clawing absently at his throne (a bean bag chair on top of a pile of boxes). "Some way..." He suddenly straightened up, a psycho grin across his face. "That's IT!" he yowled triumphantly.  
  
The entire activities of the Lair stopped as every hench cat, rat, and queen stared at him. "What's it?" a rather mindless cat finally asked.  
  
"The way to take over the junkyard!" Macavity exclaimed excitedly. "I send in Nikodemis-" He was cut off by several love-sick/obsessed sighs from the queens. "And Nikodemis is competition for Tugger! That'll make them go crazy!" He paused for a second. "Maybe I should add about a pound of catnip per cat..."  
  
*~*~*  
  
The plan was in place. Nikodemis, the sexiest, hottest, most loved tom in Macavity's entire Lair was headed for the junkyard to give The Rum Tum Tugger a bit of competition. All Macavity had to do now was wait.  
  
"The junkyard will be mine!" he cackled evilly.  
  
*~*~*  
  
An excited scream was heard from Etcetera. "HOLY SHIT! THERE'S A TOM HOTTER THAN TUGGER!!!!" She pointed frantically at Nikodemis.  
  
Electra's jaw dropped. "No way, it's not possible." She spotted Nikodemis. "HOLY SHIT, it IS possible!"  
  
Jennyanydots's and Jellylorum's jaws dropped in shock.  
  
"Girls!" Jennyanydots scolded. "Where did you learn such language?!"  
  
The kittens looked guilty for a second before returning to staring at Nikodemis.  
  
"Hey ladies," he purred. His voice was silky soft to the queen-kits.  
  
"Hey..." Etcetera breathed, staring at him, entranced.  
  
"Oh my word!" Jellylorum exclaimed, finally figuring out that Nikodemis was there. "Well.... he's rather fine..."  
  
"Jellylorum! I'm astou- Holy Heaviside..." Jennyanydots stared in shock at Nikodemis.  
  
Nikodemis winked at the two older queens, who both began blushing and giggling like love-sick teens. "How are you fine ladies today?"  
  
"Just fine," Jennyanydots giggled, blushing furiously.  
  
"Oh my...." Jellylorum fainted right into Bustopher Jones's arms.  
  
"Now, what might I ask is going on here?" he asked groughly. He looked at Nikodemis. "Who might you be?"  
  
"I am Nikodemis, The Hottest, Sexiest, Most Loved Tom in all of London," he said, finally introducing himself.  
  
"Like hell you are!" The one and only Rum Tum Tugger stormed up behind him. "What do you think you're doing in MY territory?"  
  
Nikodemis looked calmly at him. "It ain't your territory anymore, loser."  
  
Etcetera stared between the two toms. "Lecky..." She gulped. "Who do I obsess over now?"  
  
Electra looked just as distressed. "I don't know, Etcy... I'm having the same troubles!"  
  
Bombalurina now entered the scene. "SCORE! Two hot toms to flirt with!"  
  
"Bomby!" Tugger whined. "I thought you LOVED me!"  
  
She gave him a rather disgusted look. "Tug, you're just a toy." She looked to Nikodemis. "Hey there, sexy." She grinned seductively.  
  
"Me-owch." He grinned back. "Might I ask a fair lady's name?"  
  
"Bombalurina, Hottest, Sexiest, Most Loved Queen in all of London."  
  
He took her paw and kissed it. "Nikodemis, The Hottest, Sexiest, Most Loved Tom in all of London. Also known as Prince Charming."  
  
Well, next thing you know, every single queen in the entire yard is going crazy. Should they obsess over The Rum Tum Tugger, or Nikodemis, The Hottest, Sexiest, Most Loved Tom in all of London? And what about the toms? They're all going crazy over who to copy! Every single tom, right down to the self-respecting Munkustrap, and wise Old Deuteronomy. Poor Tugger himself is going crazy over having competition. To put it simply, every single cat in the entire junkyard is going out of their mind. Macavity's plan was working.  
  
*~*~*  
  
"FREE CAT NIP FOR ALL!!!!" Nikodemis started throwing bags and bags of catnip into a swooning crowd of queens, and generally crazy toms.  
  
"AHH!!! He's so fine!" Jemima squealed. "But so's Tugger!"  
  
Etcetera screamed like the love-sick queen kit she was and passed out in Plato's arms.  
  
Every other queen was screaming over both toms, while Tugger, not realizing that he was also the object of their affection, glared at Nikodemis.  
  
Soon, the entire junkyard was chaos. Every cat was going crazy over Nikodemis in some way, and they were all basically stoned from the catnip. The Jellicles were screwed, and Macavity was the triumphant one.  
  
In the end, Macavity came with his whole army and took over the Junkyard. He made every tom one of his hench cats, sent Nikodemis and Tugger to be the entertainment for the queens, and had his pick of the queens, because, whether they liked it or not, they were perminently stoned from an overdoes of catnip. Pretty soon, Macavity found his gang was entirely pointless, because he no longer had an enemy. This sent him into a very deep depression, so the somewhat sane Munkustrap, completely crazy Tugger, and the still Hottest, Sexiest, Most Loved Tom in all of London, Nikodemis, took over the tribe and ran it their way. Parties every night with endless catnip, making the cats even more stoned than before. They soon came to be known as the Stoners. Go figure. Chaos was always presant.  
  
The End 


End file.
